Interesting article i found!

What do you mean when you say you want more closeness or intimacy in your relationship? Many people use the word "intimacy" without really understanding what it means. Also, sometimes people mean they want more emotional intimacy, sometimes more physical intimacy, and sometimes both. Intimacy is a quality between two people that cannot be touched, but people really feel it when it is missing. Usually, when two people say they are intimate, they are able to share things with one another, verbally and physically, sometimes that they may feel they can share with no one else. When they do share themselves, they feel content and full.

When two people share their most private thoughts, feelings, and fantasies (like building a dream home) they are implying that they trust one another. Sometimes one partner has difficulty with trust. She or he may not like the feeling of vulnerability that intimacy creates. A partner like this may not be able to share very much, leaving the other partner feeling empty and lonely. In a marriage, partners need to be able to overcome fears about being hurt or ridiculed if they share their true selves. They need to be able to take a risk and speak their minds, ask for what they want, or reveal private thoughts.

Being able to share yourself means that you need to have a strong sense of who you are. If you have good self-esteem, then chances are you will be more accepting if your partner doesn't quite understand you or agree with something you have shared. Ironically, in order to feel good together, you need to feel okay apart.

If you lose yourself in a relationship, you cannot maintain true intimacy. By "losing yourself," I mean that you don't speak up and voice your thoughts. You don't initiate physical contact. You let your partner dominate you, and follow his or her lead. This keeps you safe, but it is not very satisfying. If you are the one that dominates the relationship, you may enjoy keeping your partner on a short leash, but you will never have the satisfaction of truly knowing your partner. Your dominance may also breed resentment over time. Before you know it, you may be holding a leash, but your partner will be gone.

You may feel you have no time to give to your relationship, but that would be a mistake. Even if you need to sit down with a calendar every week and plan time to be together--either in or out of the bedroom--you will find an eventual payoff. If you want to experience feelings of joy, security, and love in your marriage or committed relationship, intimacy requires your attention. Don't wait for your partner. Take the initiative yourself and start sharing who you really are. You may be surprised at the result.